Cell Phones? Fuggedaboutit!

Sunday was a day of miracles when it comes to cell phones. My first stop was Pepper Road, where I was invited to watch a morning practice of Petaluma’s world class horse vaulting team, The Tambourine Vaulters. 

That a covey of teenagers were up, dressed, hair combed and ready to work  on a weekend wasn’t the miracle. The true miracle was that during the entire morning workout, not one teen sought or used a cell phone. They were too busy focusing on an ancient sport that is a battle of millimeters.

During each silent turn of the ring atop a huge horse, riders endeavor to adjust a foot one quarter of an inch towards the proper placement; an arm might be held straighter, longer than on the previous try.

Their coach is Kelly Holly, a biology teacher at , who has been teaching since 1981 following her own competitive career in horse vaulting. The team holds two workouts a week during the school year. During the summer, they train five days a week.

"In the morning from 9 a.m. to noon we train the team. In the afternoon we train the horses,” Holly said.

When so many teachers leave for summer break, why does Holly fill hers with the intense effort of training of young athletes?

“I was an only child and when I was doing it, I loved the way it felt like family. When these kids have issues, they have a whole group of people around them, supporting them,” she said.

Indeed, Holly’s mom, Sydney, a retired grammar school teacher, was on hand to help out with exercising and cooling down the horses and encouraging club members.

The ballet-like acrobatic movement atop a cantering horse has roots to ancient Rome; some even link the activity to the bull dancers of ancient Crete. In Renaissance times it is believed that similar drills were used by knights to improve mounts and dismounts. There is hope that horse vaulting, which was demonstrated at the Olympic games in 1984 in Los Angeles and again in 1996 in Atlanta, will become an Olympic sport.

The sheer beauty of it is on display in Cirque de Soleil’s latest show Cavalia, which has introduced many to equestrian vaulting.

“My daughter just loves it," said Nichole Bohrer of Petaluma, whose daughter takes classes with Holly. "To me it looks like Twister on horseback. I don’t know how they do it.” 

“This is a sport that keeps you going; keeps you young,” said Kelly Holly, who despite two knee replacements can still do much of what she could do atop a moving horse as a youngster.

A typical horse might stand 14 hands high, but the draft horses used for this sport are massive, weighing over 1,500 pounds. Belgian draft horse, Sadie, is 12 years old and over 18 hands high. She canters in a smooth circle  atop a ring filled with ashy silt. She is tethored by a lunge line held by Holly standing center ring who also uses a light flicker whip and voice commands to start and stop the horse’s movements.

The rider’s only special equipment? Special soft shoes.

At the end of a class the students gather around the horse to caress, thank and praise the horse for helping them. 

* * *  

After a motorcycle ride with friends with stops at Boon Fly for a gourmet brunch, viewing The Hess Art Collection in Napa, and a tiny bit of wine tasting, we rolled into Ernie’s Tin Bar on  Lakeville at Stage Gulch Road as the sun set. Famed for its gourmet Chex mix, Wednesday night vegetable box pick-ups and NASCAR luminaries incognito, the 18-stool tin-roofed shack seems like the kind of road house where only bull breeders are welcomed. But it couldn’t be a friendlier place.

Inside, signs all over the bar say: USE A CELL PHONE, BUY A ROUND!

But why?

“A guy I never seen before comes in. Wants to use the telephone. Says it’s an emergency,” barkeeper Ernie Altenreuther told us. “It’s not something I usually allow, so the guy pushes and pushes. Says he’ll buy a round if I let him.”

“So he makes his phone call, says a few terse words and hangs up. When I tell him what the round costs for 12 guys, he starts swearing. He storms out.”

But wait, it gets better. A minute later, while the entire house is grumbling, the phone rings. It’s a parole officer checking to see where his parolee is calling from.

“So I tell him, Ernie’s Tin Bar in Petaluma. He deserved it. And it got me thinking--no phones,” said Ernie.

I’m telling you; don’t even whip out your iPhone at Ernie’s or bother checking into FourSquare. Just fuggedaboutit. Otherwise, the next round of drinks is on you.