I've Spent Forty Years in the Wilderness of People's Minds and Behaviors.

Of course, I've spent a longer time in my own mind and behaviors. I've done this as a person and later as an ordained clergy, Episcopal priest, Jungian analyst, and licensed marriage family therapist. While each situation, each individual or couple are entirely unique, I've learned there are many things that we all seem to hold in common. I'll name only a few that I've noted in my work with others through the years.

1) There seems to be a strong desire in us all to love and be loved. I use love here in the sense of an unconditional regard, to the degree that's possible, for another person.

2) Distortions of love account for so much human pain. We are separated from our selves, others, and our deepest values.

3) There seems to be a strong drive in most individuals to unfold their unique personality. Jung called this the process of individuation.

4) Our lives are through and through relational. We live in an interconnected world and it matters what we do, think, imagine, and feel in our connections with others.

5) It seems we all have a focus in life that takes most of our time, energy and resources. Whatever that is it tends to become our god or goddess and it may become life enhancing or destructive to our lives. It seems people want to know what is worthy of their full love and devotion.

Wandering in any wilderness can be difficult and there is much pain and suffering found in our relationships and disappointments in life. Yet in the midst of our journeys there is unexpected help. It may come from a stranger or friend, or unexpectedly from a dream, or a simple image or a person who cares enough, is trained enough, to help you find your particular path through your particular wilderness.

May such help rise up to meet you however you are struggling!

(Charles Asher is a certified Jungian analyst, MFT in private practice in Petaluma, CA)  (www.drcharlesasher.com)