Giving Children Our Best

I would like to take away the guilt and shame mothers feel by publicly announcing that most mothers love it when their children go to bed....and that's OK.

I would also like to take away the guilt and shame mothers feel about not wanting to spend 24 hours a day with their kids providing them with fun, educational activities.

It is OK to want to spend some time alone. Just for you. I give you permission.

The time at night gives us the opportunity to recharge in whatever way we feel. No one yelling out “MOM” for the one hundredth time that day. No one asking us for something, from a cup of milk to a ride to a friends to $20. No one trying to get our attention.

Just time for you. Even if you weren't at your best that day on the mom scale, you earned it. To be on duty all day, everyday is a lot to ask of ourselves. Just do your best to do better tomorrow. The time at night restores the strength in you to fuel up for another day.

So do what feels good. Take a bath, read a book, watch some TV, drink a cup of tea or wine, call a friend, go the gym, go out, put on your jammies, write, paint, play music, sleep....you get the picture.

When we care for ourselves we are then able to offer the best of us. Isn't that what we want to give our children?

Sierra Dator is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCS23317) with a psychotherapy office in Petaluma providing counseling to youth, adults, and families. Please visit www.sierradator.com for more information about Sierra and her services.