Dear Absent Parent

Dear Absent Parent,

Let me be the voice for the child who is “too something” to tell you.  Maybe too sad, too hurt, too pessimistic, too distrusting, too out of touch with reality, too drunk, too high, too anxious, too caught up in their own drama, too scared.  If you have a child somewhere you are not involved with, then chances are real good, this is what they are experiencing….right now.  Please reconsider your place with your child.

If you are actively using drugs or alcohol or someone who cannot care for yourself let alone your child, you may be better off having no direct physical contact.  It doesn’t mean you can’t communicate with your child when you are sober and ready to talk about them.  Not call with promises filling your child up as they wonder if you will really do what you said you would.  Not the empty promises that scar kids deep down and impair their ability to trust people.  But call with an interest in them and let them know they are loved.  Point out how you see the good in who they are.

Other types of absent parents are those who live under the radar thinking the damage is done.  Or those who are in the same home but unavailable to their child.  Please take responsibility for your actions, get the help you need, and try to build a relationship with the one person who needs you most in the world.  Stop the vicious cycles that plague families and get passed down from generation to generation.

You have the opportunity to be more than you are if you only allow yourself to be.  Please take the chance.  Maybe your child can then be: too loving, too connected, too future oriented, too sober, too happy….

Hopefully Yours,

Sierra Dator